Let's see..

Hey! I am thinking of putting up my tumblr account. Coz it looks like its cool HAHAHA and you can post basically everything..from pictures, videos and anything HAHAHA coool. But it seems complicated also HAHA I don't know..we'll see. ^.^

It’s a sunday and I found time to do some blogging. *echos! ^.^* I guess it's because I don't have any school work or assignment to think of for tomorrow. Prelims has just ended yesterday so this is actually a real rest day for me. It sucks somehow 'coz I wasn't able to do the usual "after-exams party/getaways". I was busy managing the upcoming EcoSoc election. *ding ding* so currently, the thing that keeps on bothering me (malamang) is more of an org staff..well, from the start they've been headache to me. But I am not gonna talk about it this time..moving on.

So I was saying, my exams ended yesterday and I must say, it felt like it was the looooongest prelims week I've ever had in my entire college life. Hell yeh. It is, really. Generally speaking, I hate my senior life. Ironic. This should be all about fun and enjoying the remaining days supposedly. I expected it this sem since we already had our thesis done last sem. Ahh. Whack. I don't even have more time to hang out with friends (di ba? dapat nga more bonding ngayon) but everyone is like busy, minding their own stuff or perhaps hating it also. Toxic. Academically speaking, I think I've lost my interest in Economics. My eagerness to learn it has dropped, like drastic. For second semester, I am only taking 3 major subjects. Not a big deal to think I've surpassed how many Econ subjects for the past 3 semesters. But the thing is...it’s more of the way you learn things that matters to me. I mean, yah it’s all about those theories and all but it is still different by how your professors deliver. They should have known that they are like a big deal on how students learn. They get paid to teach. They are adults, mature enough I assume to know what their responsibilities as mentors is. I want to see at least some returns from the tuition I paid. I salute those professors who do a job well done. Curse to those who portrays an intelligent academe and yet doesn't even know how to explain things. I mean, if you don't care why not go away and find a job where no talking is required. Okei, enough. Since you don't care all the time..I wouldn't care also. Going back to my fluctuating interest. The way I look on Economics is not the same anymore. I felt like I am not learning anymore but it’s more of repeating to study things. As what professors always say: "review na lang 'to eh." I am tired mentally. I don't enjoy it anymore. Probably, first sem was too demanding. Drained. *sigh*

This past few months, I've been thinking about getting a job. I feel like I really want to leave UST as soon as possible. I want to learn things outside the classrooms. I want to learn real things. And the most important thing, I want to earn my own money yey.

I know that what we learn from school is essential but sometimes when you come to think of it, when you do the real thing you don't get to use all of them. (hmm not unless you want to pursue a career in teaching maybe). Life has been always unfair. I know I know I know. Ahh. Deal with it, depends on how you're gonna react to life. But no matter what, I love it. It maybe a bitch most of the time but hey this is just for once so just make the most out of it.

Merry Christmas!

Hey there! How's my blog? HAHA Its been a long time huh. :))

As much as I wanted to update this regularly, ewan ko..I can't. HAHA well, I've been busy I guess..too busy that I don't want to think that much about what to write in here.
So, anyways...its Christmas eve! yey :) We'll probably eat dinner (but not gonna wait 'til midnight, we never follow that tradition) later. I told my mom to buy a bucket meal from KFC na lang *lol* 'cause we don't cook..we don't know how! HAHA She'll probably be attempting to cook some spags..I don't know. tss. This Christmas, I don't have a gift for the family*damn* I've experienced the financial crisis perhaps HAHAHA I even had a petty tampuhan with my mama dear..but of course, we're okei na. I think I'm in a point where I find my parents stubborn HAHAHAH mahirap nga raw magpalaki ng magulang HAHAHA but at the end of the day, they're my parents- I love them no matter what. *cheezy*

-moving on-

I still got no phone! :(
and I don't know when my mom would buy me a new one..*sigh*
Well, I don't have a particular unit naman..sabi ko nga kahit anu lang okei na as long as meron.

Actually, I like to own a Nokia E71 (not sure kung yun nga yun) like the one Thea owns..pero I won't ask my parents for that. I'm gonna buy one for me when I earn my own money na lang (hopefully I'll be able to catch a good job & that's about 3months to go). I like that phone, 'cause its like pang-corpo HAHAHA :))
we just celebrated our last Paskuhan (technically, its our last as students..but we can still attend naman even if we're alumni na) Syempre, I'm with my best college buddies: Lucette and Thea :) as always, I had so much fun being with them. Instead of getting drunk, we decided to stay at Starbucks Timog, where you can find noisy people! HAHAHA sabi nga namen, parang fast food lang ang ambiance. I don't know, that particular branch is kinda weird. Bakit nga ang ingay dun? HAHAHA

We headed out to Lucette's place to sleep over :) and as usual, our Thea dear had her annual memorable experience HAHAHA this time, she entered lucy's dad bedroom *whoa* HAHAHAHA laughtrip.

Hopefully, next year..we will still be able to hang out like this :) I'm sure we can do that HAHA

Bisperas ng aking kaarawan--Bente na ko Tsong!!!

I will be turning 20 tomorrow. Yes, it's true @xands (talking to myself) you'll be no longer a teen ager. We'll that's actually fine with me, after all we should all learn to accept the fact that we get old...and as we get older, things will be no longer the same, as easy as when we were kids or as pleasant as our yesterdays. Hmmm..so actually, I am just writing an entry kasi I am feeling some sort of sadness and disappointments as how I define this kind of feeling. Ewan ko ba, pero kanina ko pang madaling araw 'to na-feel. I was wondering if this is some kind of a syndrome- yung tipong nako-connect mo sa pagiging 20. HAHA ganun ba talaga? when you're turning 20 may some sort of sadness kang mafi-feel??! HAHAHA I wonder...pero hindi din siguro. Maybe, it's just about what is happening right now. I mean, siguro it is just a coincidence na ngayong magbi-birthday ako naka feel ng ganito. Yah I know, that sucks!

Eto talaga ang storya. I am feeling sooooo bad when I was collecting the grades of our JBs. Eh I don't know, super disappointed lang na literal na konti lang yung pumasok for EB. Grabe eh. Although nung batch namen, hindi ko naman talaga alam din ang buong nangyare. Pero, iba talaga nafi-feel ko towards them. Honestly, I feel like a failure from the time ng props making. I don't know, basta. Nahihihiya ako sa coSBs ko because of how my JBs are performing. Failure talaga. Kasi I can't even open it up to them na nahihiya na ko. I feel na hindi ko nagagawa ang trabaho ko. Nakakainis lang kasi, I keep on thinking kung pano ang dapat gawin, pero it seems na wala pa ring kwenta...wa epek lahat ng isipin ko. Mahirap sa side ko, kasi ako mismo...I don't see any potentials and improvements on them generally. When in fact, I was raised to be their first supporter sa org. Sucks again. I just cried actually pagdating dito sa bahay. Dahil dun. Maybe, kaya ako nalulungkot kasi wala akong nakikitang magandang output sa ginawa or ginagawa ko sakanila. Kainis. ayyyyy naku. enough. mas lalo akong nalulungkot. di ko rin ma share sa kahit na sinong close friend ko 'to (kahit dati pa talaga ako naba-bother about it). ewan ko kung ano na nangyare saken. hindi ko makita yung success ko nun as JB ngayong na SB na ko. Lagi ko na lang natatanung kung anu pa ba pwedeng gawin?

Lord! I love EcoSoc so much kaya siguro ako nagkaka ganito. Please, send me some help. Tulungan nyo din lahat ng JBs. *sigh*

The Hell You Care Mr. Blind Item

It's a Sunday, as usual I'm feeling lazy and wants to be in bed all day. As much as I want to be like that, there are lots of stuff (school works to be exact) I need to accomplish. Later, I will be in Araneta with some of my friends (I will be seeing Thea, been a long time we haven't seen each other) to watch UAAP. So here's the game plan. I'll watch basketball first, do some bonding time with friends but should not stay too long so I could be home early and start working. I should strictly follow this, nope... I will strictly follow this.

Let's divert things here. Lately, I've been thinking lots of things about myself. It's weird for me but I am very sad about something. Well, it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me this past few days. Honestly, knowing the kind of person I am... I am really not liking this kind of feeling. Nakakainis. I feel like I am slowly losing something within me. There are some "externality" affecting me right now that doesn't go my way. Somehow, I try to fight... I think that's the best thing to do. And accept the fact that the world is really unjust. People are given the freedom to speak up their minds just like what I do always. I respect that. I am just really affected because you don't get to see me 24/7. You see, your position nor your age does not guaranties your credibility for words. The hell you care about me huh? Di ba your Mr. No Pake naman? Haayys. But then, I share the same mistake sometimes... with that, I must say that I could let it pass. Sige, intindihin ko na lang. Yan ang tingin mo eh. But I would like to defend myself. Making some noise doesn't justify your worth of existence. I am not accountable to you, it is the people who put me on this position that I should be worried more. Whatever sir!

Sa thesis-Ako ay isang variable, INDEPENDENT variable baby!

There are instances in your life where you have to be involved with other people and work with them whether it's your first or favorable choice or not. Sometimes you get to know people through working with them. And there are just two outcomes-- it's either you'll admire them for working hard and doing their share of responsibilities or be mad, as in mad to them for doing the exact opposite.

So far, with my thesis groupmates...I am very disappointed. I was not expecting that they'll be like that. I had actually a different impression about them. I thought... nuhh, that was my mistake. I miscalculated things. Demn!

*those are my twitter entries on aug27-28..while doing chapter 4 of MY thesis!*

"Who bears the burden?"

*don't mind the title or its connection to this post. I ended up using it coz I actually wrote this on a piece of paper while I'm in my PubSec class and all I was hearing from my prof is that query. toinkz**



God created us in such a diverse manner. That's complicated right? Coz if He wants us to live harmoniously, then He must have just created us in a way that we are all similar almost in all aspects. Kaya siguro maraming problema ang lumillitaw because of this. Pero I am thinking that there must be a real good reason behind it. You see, this is just an example of those many issues that we cannot find any answer no matter how hard we try. Kaya nga sometimes, instead of looking for the answers, I just stop thinking and let it go. At the end of the day, it is God who knows all and we have to entrust to Him whatever problem is bugging us.

9:37am @ Rm320