I will be turning 20 tomorrow. Yes, it's true @xands (talking to myself) you'll be no longer a teen ager. We'll that's actually fine with me, after all we should all learn to accept the fact that we get old...and as we get older, things will be no longer the same, as easy as when we were kids or as pleasant as our yesterdays. Hmmm..so actually, I am just writing an entry kasi I am feeling some sort of sadness and disappointments as how I define this kind of feeling. Ewan ko ba, pero kanina ko pang madaling araw 'to na-feel. I was wondering if this is some kind of a syndrome- yung tipong nako-connect mo sa pagiging 20. HAHA ganun ba talaga? when you're turning 20 may some sort of sadness kang mafi-feel??! HAHAHA I wonder...pero hindi din siguro. Maybe, it's just about what is happening right now. I mean, siguro it is just a coincidence na ngayong magbi-birthday ako naka feel ng ganito. Yah I know, that sucks!
Eto talaga ang storya. I am feeling sooooo bad when I was collecting the grades of our JBs. Eh I don't know, super disappointed lang na literal na konti lang yung pumasok for EB. Grabe eh. Although nung batch namen, hindi ko naman talaga alam din ang buong nangyare. Pero, iba talaga nafi-feel ko towards them. Honestly, I feel like a failure from the time ng props making. I don't know, basta. Nahihihiya ako sa coSBs ko because of how my JBs are performing. Failure talaga. Kasi I can't even open it up to them na nahihiya na ko. I feel na hindi ko nagagawa ang trabaho ko. Nakakainis lang kasi, I keep on thinking kung pano ang dapat gawin, pero it seems na wala pa ring kwenta...wa epek lahat ng isipin ko. Mahirap sa side ko, kasi ako mismo...I don't see any potentials and improvements on them generally. When in fact, I was raised to be their first supporter sa org. Sucks again. I just cried actually pagdating dito sa bahay. Dahil dun. Maybe, kaya ako nalulungkot kasi wala akong nakikitang magandang output sa ginawa or ginagawa ko sakanila. Kainis. ayyyyy naku. enough. mas lalo akong nalulungkot. di ko rin ma share sa kahit na sinong close friend ko 'to (kahit dati pa talaga ako naba-bother about it). ewan ko kung ano na nangyare saken. hindi ko makita yung success ko nun as JB ngayong na SB na ko. Lagi ko na lang natatanung kung anu pa ba pwedeng gawin?
Lord! I love EcoSoc so much kaya siguro ako nagkaka ganito. Please, send me some help. Tulungan nyo din lahat ng JBs. *sigh*
